不能对爱人说的话
对你的爱人，不要说可能会伤害你们感情的话。这点的重要性丝毫不亚于对TA的甜言蜜语。只要一句说错的话，就可以使一天表现良好的言行付之东流。那些消极而伤人的话会重创你们的感情。
Here are those five things you should NEVER say to your spouse:
以下是对你的爱人坚决不能说的五句话：
1. It's your fault! Sometimes, a financial decision goes bad, one of your children gets in trouble at school, or some household calamity occurs. And know this - things do go bad from time to time in any relationship. Decisions turn out wrong. Stuff happens! But the blame game never works! It alienates. It divides. It most certainly undermines trust and opennein your relationship.
1.那是你的错!有时，会做出错误的经济开支决定，你的哪个孩子在学校闯祸了，或者出了一些家庭灾难。你需要知道，这些事情在任何家庭中都屡次发生。做出错误的决定，自然就发生了这样的事。但是，“责备”丝毫不会奏效。它只会疏远和离间你们，而且毫无疑问地会伤害到你们之间的信任和坦诚。
2. I told you so! Trust us on this - these four words are rarely ever used in successful marriages. This kind of "comeuppance" has no place in a loving relationship. There is no need to remind your spouse that you were right about something and they were wrong. Talk about wasted criticism!
2.我早告诉过你!相信我，在成功的婚姻里几乎不会出现这几个字。在爱情中不应有这种类似于“幸灾乐祸”的责难。你完全没有必要去提醒你的爱人，关于一些事你是对的而TA是错的。那些批评没有任何意义。
3. Saying "I am upset with you about this or that . . . ." in a public setting. Telling private secrets or criticizing your spouse in public or to someone else can do permanent damage to the trust in your relationship. True or not - it doesn't matter. Keep private things private.
3.在公共场合就说：“我真受不你这样或那样”。在别人面前揭你爱人的短或批评，将会对你们感情中的信任造成永久性的伤害。对错并不重要。家里的事家里解决。
4. Why do you always . . . Focusing on your spouse's weaknerather than building on their strengths will only increase their weakneand diminish their strength. This habit can send a relationship into a downward spiral if weaknesses are pointed out and commented upon. Succedoes breed success. Stick with the strengths and don't focus on weakness.
4.你怎么老是。。。?总盯着你爱人的缺点，而不是放大TA的优点，只会让TA的优点更少缺点更多。指出并批评爱人的缺点，这一毛病会让你们的感情每况愈下。成功孕育成功。多注意对方的优点，不要总盯着缺点。
5. Ask for your spouse's opinion and then do the opposite. We have heard from many angry divorced or almost divorced couples that this is the greatest indicator of "disrespect." If you ask where your spouse wants to go to dinner and he/she suggests a couple of places, then you select a different one, by your actions you said, "I do not respect your opinion and don't care what you think!"
5.问过你爱人的意见却反其道而行。从很多愤怒的离婚的或即要离婚的人们口中，我们都有所耳闻，这是最大的“不尊重”。如果你问你的爱人想去哪儿吃晚饭，她说了几个地方，而你却挑了一个别的。你是在用行动告诉好：“我不尊重你的意见，也不在乎你怎么想。”
Since saying negative or hurtful things can be damaging to a loving relationship, it is wise to take extra caution before engaging your mouth when these negative thoughts come into your mind。
既然这些消极而伤人的事情会伤害到你们的感情，所以，在那些消极的想法涌入脑海时，下意识地慎从口从不失为一个明智之举。
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